“This Is Not a Love Story” is a memoir by Judy Brown that delves into her childhood experiences growing up with a younger brother, Nachum, who displayed behaviors that were later recognized as being on the autism spectrum. Set in a Hasidic Jewish family in Brooklyn during the early 1980s, the book portrays the challenges faced by Brown’s family as they struggled to understand and cope with Nachum’s condition. Initially misunderstood and labeled as “crazy” by their community, Nachum’s behaviors caused significant stress within the family. Brown recounts her own reactions as an eight-year-old, including feelings of fear, confusion, and even relief when Nachum was temporarily sent away.

As the narrative progresses, Nachum is eventually diagnosed with autism in 1993, leading to a shift in his treatment and gradual improvement in his ability to communicate. Brown reflects on her evolving understanding of her brother and the impact of his diagnosis on their family dynamics. The memoir highlights the lack of awareness and understanding surrounding autism at that time, emphasizing the emotional toll it took on both individuals with autism and their families.

Despite the difficult subject matter, “This Is Not a Love Story” offers a poignant exploration of faith, family dynamics, and personal growth. Through Brown’s candid storytelling, readers gain insight into the complexities of living with and loving someone with autism, ultimately finding moments of connection and understanding amidst the challenges.

Overall, Judy Brown’s memoir provides a moving account of resilience, compassion, and the power of familial bonds in navigating adversity.

A sharp, funny, and insightful memoir about growing up in the closed world of a radical Jewish community.

The third of six children in a family with roots in the glorious Hassidic dynasty, Judy Brown grew up surrounded by a legacy of centuries of religious teaching and the faith and legends that have sustained her people. her through many generations.

But her carefully constructed world begins to crumble when her “crazy” brother, Nachum, returns home after a year living in Israel with relatives. Although supposedly “cured”, he still has a tendency to retreat into his own mind or erupt into unspeakable rages. The adults’ inability to help him get better – or even put a name to his suffering – forces Judy to ask bigger questions: If God can perform miracles for her saintly ancestors , why couldn’t He cure Nachum? And what about the other stories her family treasures?

Judy begins to negotiate with God, moving from sacred principles to absurdly fun conclusions faster than a Talmudic scholar: She fasts to win the coveted earrings; she fights her siblings at the dinner table for the ultimate badge of honor (“Who will survive the next Holocaust?”); and she staunchly defends her family’s reputation when her parents are scandalously accused of falling in love – not at all what pious people do.

For all its brutal honesty about this isolated community, This Is Not a Love Story is ultimately the story of a family like so many others, whose fierce love for each other and devotion to the faith that carried them through the darkest times of their lives.

This intelligently written memoir by Judy Brown chronicles how growing up with her “crazy brother” Nachum and her mother fought hard, in the sometimes claustrophobic world of Hassidism, to find help for his son. Maybe it’s my age (46 years old), but I sympathize with Ms. Brown’s mother’s point of view more than the narrator’s sister, even though her spirit is very funny and the look through her eyes makes the moments The harder times the family goes through become lighter. The ending stayed with me for a very, very long time.

• This Is Not a Love Story

• A Memoir
• By: Judy Brown

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