Stop People Pleasing is a great book by Patrick King.
Break the crippling approval addiction and learn to be less “kind”.

Do you keep your mouth shut for fear of offending people? Feel that you need to please and serve to stay in your social circles? You have a need to please and all associated beliefs. Stop being bitter, resentful, and anxious by always saying yes.

Stop Satisfying People is a candid look at people-pleasing trends – where they come from, how they manifest, and exactly what to do with them.

This audiobook is written by someone who loves to please those in recovery, so you can be sure there is a real understanding of your struggles. Reprogram your beliefs and learn to accept yourself.

Patrick King is the world’s best-selling author and social skills coach. His writings are compiled from a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, training and practical experience.

Find your voice, stand up for yourself and put yourself first.

The psychological and often hurtful origins of the people-pleasing tendency.
The harmful beliefs you subconsciously possess and how to change them.
How to learn new, empowering habits.
Learn the deep roots of your need to please and how to set healthy boundaries.

How to set boundaries and avoid porous boundaries.
Lots of strategies to say no and make your thoughts known.
Understand your guilt and get better at confrontation.
How to say no and stop feeling responsible for people’s feelings.
Pleasing people is called a disease for a reason. It can paralyze you and hold you back from what you want – but it’s all on your mind!

The author gives four reasons that we can please people, and I found my reason with fear of confrontation. He covers that very well and shows how to tackle it: practice. Find or provoke small confrontations and start practicing with larger confrontations. I did that and it worked great: the world doesn’t end and a person becomes very good at it and is no longer afraid of not being able to do whatever everyone wants. I have not seen this emphasis in other books, and it is excellent.
I think another particularly useful point he makes is that “no” is a complete sentence. Default is no. Just say no. For example, one of those obnoxious salespeople with the clipboard that haunts the empty aisles of the BJs Warehouse stores hunts you down to talk to you about fixing your home or buying insurance or something. It’s completely unrelated to the purpose you’re going there for, such as buying groceries: “Excuse me, can I talk to you for a second?” Answer: “No.” Said firmly and if they don’t get it, add “Go away”, also firm and a little louder. I love this trick and it really worked for me.

• Stop People Pleasing

• Be Assertive, Stop Caring What Others Think, Beat Your Guilt, & Stop Being a Pushover
• By: Patrick King

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