“The Groom Will Keep His Name” is a memoir by Matt Ortile about his experiences growing up in Manila and later moving to the United States, where he faced discrimination and struggled to reconcile his Filipino identity with his desire to fit in. As a gay man with a brown skin tone and accent, he faced harassment and ostracism in both places. Ultimately, he decides to embrace his identity and reject the idea that he needs to change himself to belong in America.

• The Groom Will Keep His Name

• And Other Vows I’ve Made About Race, Resistance, and Romance
• By: Matt Ortile
• Narrated by: Matt Ortile

A disturbing collection of “witty and seductive” essays (Bitch Magazine) by a gay Filipino immigrant in the US learning that everything is about sex – and sex is about power.

When Matt Ortile moved from Manila to Las Vegas, the locals couldn’t pronounce his name. Harassed as a child for his brown skin, voice, and femininity, he believes he can belong in America by marrying a white man and shedding his identity. My Philippines. This was the first myth he told himself. The Groom Will Keep His Name explores the different stories Ortile tells about what it means to be a Vassar girl, an American boy, and a Filipino immigrant in New York looking to build a home. .

When we meet and make friends, we tell stories about ourselves that not only reveal who we are but who we want to be. Ortile recounts relationships and whatever pushed him to confront his notions of sex, power, and archetypal minority myths. Whether swiping on Grindr, parsing direct messages, or visiting a steam room, Ortile takes us on a journey towards radical self-love with our wits, wits, and heart.

I loved listening to this book.
As an immigrant myself, I saw so many common shared history and background yet we are from two different countries, two different continents and we migrated on two different continents. Parts if this books could have been my own experience.

 

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