Adults by Emma Jane Unsworth – Audiobook online.

Prologue
Soho Square
I sit and wait for her
My feet swinging under the bench
She’ll come soon
And she’ll know why
Adrenaline
I squeeze my own tomatoes
God I hate waiting
Is that what I’ve been doing all these years
Waiting
Haha
Maybe all those therapist Mariah
Maybe therapy isn’t just a bad stand-up show you don’t have the balls to take on the road
I look around
At the other people chatting imposing and repositioning themselves
Whiling away this cold Friday
It’s a few weeks before Christmas in the city is all lit up
People are smiling too much drinking too much
One thing too much
Wearing too much tensile
Nothing points to the ephemeral nature of Life quite like tencel
I look forward to the north gate of the square
And it’s done I see her
Disheveled
Pulling on her coat
She scans the benches spots me and freezes
IWave
She tilts her head to one side and back surprise
So appealing to some ancient understanding between us
As though this has all been a scripted episode
Some kind of brilliant shed joke
Astera motionless lie
I am not playing
She says back
It’s checkmate with the old Queen
She starts to walk over
I almost don’t recognize her with her clothes on
Which is a strange thing to say about your mother
A few months earlier
Hello world
It is 10:05 a.m.
And I’m queuing at the breakfast counter of my co-working space in East London
The weather outside is autumnal but muggy and I have overlay it
I am done put my armpits
I’m wondering whether to out and buy a fresh t-shirts at lunch
Eyemed dial for dinner last night from a budget vegetarian cookbook I picked up in a charity shop
And let me tell you
It was astonishing
I’m creating a social media post about the quest on the time pretty sure will Define me as a he
Human
I stare at my phone
I’m happy enough with the photo
I have applied the Clarendon filter to accentuate the photos ridges index
Making the light B lighter and the darker B darker
I added a white frame for art
The picture looks
As much as pastry kind
Transcendental
However
The text is proving troublesome
I’ve tweaked it so many times that I can’t work out whether it makes sense anymore
This often happens
I pondered the woods so long
Thinking how they might be received wondering if they could be back there
That they lose all their original momentum
I got stage fright
The rest of the world has fallen away around this small square of existence
It’s like that bitching Alien 3 y Ripley says to the alien
He’s been in my life so long
I can’t remember anything else
I used to think it was about motherhood
Now I know it’s about social media
I stare at the screen
Pastries, woo!
#pastries
Is this the absolute best depiction of my present experience
I crossed out the woo
And the,
Pastries! Hashtag pastries
I stare at it again
I try and McCall the original inspiration
To be guided by that
It’s the least I can do
I interrogate myself
That’s what the mid Delta should be about after all constant self interrogation
Acquiring the courage to change what you can and the therapist to accept what you can’t
What is the I really want to say about pastries
How to pastries truly make me feel
Why is it important right now that I share this
I delete the! And stare at the remaining two words
They are the same word
The only difference is that one is hashtag
Do they mean the same
Do something different
Is that added value in the repetition
Is it worth leaving one on hashtagged so that the original sentiment exists
Infected by digital accoutrement
It’s so important to get all this right
I want people to know instantly it’s a glance that this post is about pastries in that purist
Bomb
This is platonic pastry
I delete the hashtag so that the post simply says
Pastries
.
. oh no.
A. Always looks decisive in commending
But it can also look more cool and Casual if you just leave the sentence hanging there like
Oh I’m so busy in my dazzling life I don’t even have time to punctuate
The squalid truth is I / punctuate when I’m stressed / excited
I can go for exclamation marks on a good slash bad day
Exclamation marks all the people pleases punctuation of choice
It makes us seem eager and pliable
Excited to talk to you
You!!!!
I always notice other people’s punctuation
When someone sends me a message with no! So cases
I respect them
I also think
Are they depressed
Did I do something to offend them
Sometimes I see people using whole rows of emojis
And I just want to hold them
Pastries
Perfect
Yes
I think that probably says it all
Is it enough though relay
God
I just
Don’t
No
Can I help you
I look up in Fright
It is my turn the council
I look at the questions on the rough Stone plant
I see now that there is a problem
I’m pretty sure and I am very observant that one of them is from yesterday
It looks different than the rest
The weights hunched at the front
Like it’s all uptight
It is a decidedly different texture and color to the rest
I don’t know whether this suggests age
Awesome kind of bacterial contamination or what
How did I miss this
I know that I am definitely going to get that Quest on if I ask for a question
I am paralyzed
I do not know what to do
I do not feel able to ask for a specific question although I certainly feel I deserve one
I do a quick calculation
There are eight questions that on the defective one is on my side rather than the service so really it
It’s unlikely I’ll get lumped with it
I exhale
I decide to go for it
I need this experience to fulfill my
Planned experience
Icepeak
One question please
The seven knots
But then for some reason known only to herself
Goes to take the question of Calamity from the friends
I shout
Oh hey
Excuse me
Could I please not have that question
I say it with fear and also with absolute rectitude
The service tongues twitch
She says slowly
That
All the same
I say
Could I just have one from the back please
Thank you
Everyone is looking at me
She speaks Louis till
As though I am an idiot
But
They are all the same
That one is a slightly different you I believe
SA
Quieter
She pays at the question
The person behind me in the queue comes forward for look too
The Barista abandons the got G and comes over
The cassia
They all look
And then they all stare at me
It was a preference really
Iwispr
Please
Just put any Quest on in a back
She puts the quest on in a paper bag
It hits the button with a ding
I press my card on the reader and will it to bleep
Delete the crisix bleep f****** f*** put f*****
It bleeds
Hype Alt
I run into the ladies sling the quest on in the bin and have a short cry
It’s fine though
People crying what house all the time
They have these little soundproof Foods near reception but private calls
But mostly people just use them for crying in
When I’m done I take a piss
As I wipe I check the blood
As always
I look at my phone
Pastries
The sentiment Remains the Same
Even if the truth is 10. Differently
Edit the sentiment that counts
Pastries
In a way
Perfect
Factual
But I’m still not 100%
I recall something Susie brambles once said in her incontrovertible G tips
She said
Go with your first draft
I change the words back to
Pastries, woohoo! Hashtag pastries
Right
I feel almost ready to go on this
As a final check I text Kelly
Kelly is my oldest friend and most trusted social media editor
Please will you check one thing for me before I post
No
No I said no more birthday
Please
No
You driving me mad with this daily bombardment
It’s not everyday
Nate
Please
I’m having the worst day already
I was just said to be back see pastry
No
I beg of you
I am not endorsing this Behavior
What Behavior
This lunacy
I don’t think it’s healthy all rawthentic
Authentic
You said that we grew up together in a post the other day
We were 22 when we met
It made up a story
Anyway we almost did in that we both grew up in the north
WTF
Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin lookalike competition
Triple WTF
Whenever it’s only put a filter on ourselves don’t weigh
Even is on his people moving through Society
Intellectualize in your problem
Life is not a look-alike competition
Just sent you the post
Please review and feedback
Ffs
She’ll read it
I know she will
She doesn’t do much while she’s waiting for a receptionist shift to start
Other than watching blackhead removal videos which I think somehow give her a sense of universal ecolibrium being
Mr.
She replies after a few seconds
It’s fine
Really don’t know what you were concerned about
Thank you
I bestow a kiss I hope she really feels that thank you
My politeness fudging on grass
Then after a few seconds I send
I hope you took time to really consider it and didn’t just rush off Bonanza
She doesn’t reply
She does that sometimes Kelly shuts down she did a much bigger version when I was getting together with my ex
Back in those heady days of hard willing and I asked her to check the things I was sending him
Sometimes you just need a second opinion you know
What are friends for
Kelly’s from the north to
She’s yakshe
The white rose to my red
She’s an angel in my lifetime but she has started to publicly undermined me and to be honest it’s starting to go
Great
Example
Last week I posted a photo of at least cover the bench in the park with the words
Awesome
,
You’ve always been my favorite
And she commented
Do you think liking also makes you a more complex person
A few days later I posted a chiming Vista with a field and she wrote
Night
There’s nothing in this picture
It’s not the kind of thing you expect from a beloved friend
But
If you have to ask me who knew me best Who Loved Me best
Do I looked fast
Well
I do know what the answer would be
Kelly throws me
It’s as simple as that
She Thrills me
We might have drifted apart abyss of light
But we have to kind of friendship that can weather emotional distance
It’s very easy come easy go like an open marriage
Kelly has a son
Sunny
I’ve known them 12 years although technically I met Sunny first
He’s 14 now
Kelly got pregnant without University acts and she told me she swiftly outgrew
He now has a baby with another woman
And is a proper truck blocking activist
He and Kelly won’t stayed up a tree for six weeks while she was pregnant
And I think it was during that time she realized the relationship was really over
It’s going to be a make-or-break holiday when you’re cramping in a carrier that and arguing about who has more snacks left
Because there’s no Electronic Entertainment
Kelly still has a star tattoo on her wrist from when she used to be an auntie cast
She never turned down a cheese board though
I think you often find that without a kiss
They still like the small comforts
The last time I saw Sunny a couple of months ago
I told him to stop looking at girls with long fake nails on Instagram because they were emulating Pawn Stars
He said I was nail shaming them
He told me his friend press the wrong button on the vending machine in America
I got the morning after pill instead of a drink so what did I have to teach him
People that depressed about the totalitarian state we’re heading towards
A world where our internet used will be restricted to viewing the shiny I’m like faces about unelected
Leaders
But at least it will save the kids from Paul and
Every cloud
I told Kelly that we have to respect social media more than the younger Generations because we’re not Digicel Nate
Tips
We were raised in print
This shift has been a major cultural and psychological upheaval in our lifetimes
We didn’t get email until we were at University
The internet come throw some curve balls
I want soda to Bureau of eBay
And when I arrived it was a miniature one for a doll’s house
I thought it was a bargain at 199
Plus we went brought up natural broadcasters
We have to catch up on too quickly
I remember that moves towards daily
Hourly
Constant
Documentation
Years ago a friend drove me mad on a hike stopping to take photos all the time but her Facebook
I was very frustrated cuz I wanted to keep walking
It was like being in a constantly stalling car
Now
I’d be the one scrambling to the nearest Cliff face for a signal
Speaking of which
It’s time to bite the bullet
I had a last-minute impulse hashtag
Really going now
Hashtag
Shane about the service
I post the picture
The Waiting begins
It’s like that conundrum at the tree falling in the empty Forest
Does it make a sound if there’s no one there
If you put something on social media and no one likes it do you even exist
I have calculated that with my number of followers
I can measure a successful post on the basis of approximately 10 likes but a minute
Phil
There’s no formula for it
I tried everything
One time I even arranged a day trip
That install the photograph Sylvia plath’s grave
Literary tragic it takes so many boxes
And so many people let their little hearts for it that it was worth 100 lb transfer
I used to do things for their own sick
But now G ability is a defining Factor
We’re almost a minute to know
That’s one and two
+ 3 + 4
Thank you now we’ve broken the seal it all gets sexy
Someone comments um strolls
I dabble with the notion of liking the comment
It’s a commitment
Liking comments because once he start you really have to follow it through and like all of them
Really it’s best not to start plus it looks like obsessive
Last night you monitoring things
I just left the Sarawak the way
I think I have nothing better to do with my day then refresh this is not a sea
I’m waiting for any likes
I’m waiting for the women I currently admire online
It’d be moving this way for a few years and recently a calcified
I want the women to want me more
I wait for none mean something
I wait for a sign
They’re sitting people who the tension I am Keen to attract
Mago Ripken
Buzz face Cruise
Wintering Marianne
Susie brambles
Cheesy brambles more than the rest perhaps because she just started following me back
Two days ago I’ve been following her for yes
So it feels as though we are now connected
As we should be
Entwined he might say
Susie brambles
Ocz brambles with your hostile Bob and black Citroen DS and kickboxing lessons
An almond eyes and lips like you’ve been sucking on a frozen Zeppelin
What’s not to like
And I like
I like and like and like
The first posted ensnared me with a child calling called on a beach barbecue with the caption
The adventure is already inside you
I was pretty lost on The Adventure Friends at the time so that Colin called spoke to me on many levels
This morning
Easy brambles has been kicking up leaves in village
She’s such a playful thing
I’ve watched the video five times already
CC brambles only Post in black and white
This is because she has real integrity
I watch the video of fire in the park again
Each time I watch it
I find something new to admire in her choice of composition
Angle and filter
I look at the time
It is almost 11 a.m.
How did that
Azet
That thing is the first thing you look at in the morning and the last thing you look hot at night
We were in bed
It was a week or so before we broke up
I was looking at my phone while we were having sex
I see now how that might have been interpreted as rude
Somebody even say offensive
He put his hands on my shoulders and said
Stop
I stopped
He said
Jenny
Somehow I just don’t feel like I have your full attention
I don’t
Even when you’re here it’s like you’re not here
It’s like half your head is somewhere else
It was
Half my head was in Copenhagen
West Susie brambles was having a splendid time
The earthenware in one particular Eatery was
Lickable
Azet
I feel as though this constant interfacing has become a wall between us
I almost said
What does sex require one’s full attention
Eating doesn’t after all
And that is arguably as important as sex
I look back at my phone
I smiled at Susie smiling
I pulled himself out from under my legs
That’s on the side of the bed and whips off the condom
He rubbed his face
Okay
He said
We have a problem
I finished my comment
A simple single red heart emoji the classic choice
Just
Enough
Put the phone to sleep and looked at him
Azet
You were on that thing when we eat
You’re on it when we watch TV
You’re on it when we go for a walk and now you’re on it when we are having sex
It was a slow bit
It was sex Jenny
Not film
I looked at him and try to cute
Sometimes it’s as good as the movies though
It was a long sound.
Like a door buzzer or hauling it trapped in a jar
I watch the sunlight on the wall flicker
Summer was almost over
First thing in the morning and last thing at night
That was a time
Even in my life when that slots would have been reserved for a lover
Azet
Are you in love with someone on the internet
No
I said
Which was almost not to lie
He said
I’ve noticed a direct correlation between you growing more distant from me and closer to your phone
He said
It’s like I can’t get to you when you’re there
Your eyes are all widen your plugged in like a happy little robot
He said
Except you’re not happy
How do you know I’m not happy
Because you’re never satisfied
I took his penis in my hand
Maybe that’s just me
I walked back into the main office
It’s all creative types in here
Advertising and media mostly
There’s a lot of Lino
A lot of dachshunds
Lots of plants that the real imitating plastic
You see men with visible pocket watches high-fiving all the MacBook as and you worried about what this means
Revolution
I work for an online magazine
The Foose
And it is as awful as it sounds
My editor Mia is f****** terrifying stupidly
Admirably
Socially Fearless
I think this is a seventh alright Stossel
It’s called Tara delectable of
Not that fast
And anxious to please her because I’m an approval junkie and have a teacher people Dynamic with people in positions of
Authority
You should see me guessing A Smith test
It’s like I’m trying to sell them my super clean vagina
I thought I’d offended me around Friday when I told her you v-up life is 40 ft imbecilic unaware
That she was wearing one
I thought she was slurring on her anti-depressants
But then she likes one of my pictures on Sunday and I breathed a sigh of relief because I knew everything was okay
Saturday was fraught
I spent a lot of it questioning my whole life and worth
Even though I don’t respect Mia
I see her and professionally that’s ultimately a good thing because it means I want to impress her so I give my
At what mile
I’m only really effective around people I want to impress
Otherwise my energy deadens
Agenda out broth if I actually felt comfortable around my boss
Vague social Tara
That’s my motivation
The Foos has a permanent office to you
In the loosest sense
Does a sign whose towers in fluffy pink glasses across the back wall
The sign could be taken down and said he given moment
So could the wall
I make my way across the main space to my desk
I don’t come in every day so I shall with Gemma
Who writes the horoscopes and product reviews and is so cheerful I want to punch her
Sorry
I don’t want you thinking that just because I work in the media on the f****** idiot
I sit down and start to compose an email which is what I do after any unsatisfactory social interaction….

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